Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hope everyone's Christmas went well

Hello all.... I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Mine was ok I guess. It didn't really feel like Christmas. It came and went so fast. The kids enjoyed their presents. I spent the morning with my family and then I decided to go for a walk around the nieghborhood. It brought back memories of when I was younger. I walked to my old playground and park. I couldnt help but think of my sister. I thought about all the good times that we had. I cried but I also smiled. I spent about an hour walking around and then came back to my parents house. I ended up taking a oucple of hour nap and then e-mailed my husband to let him know what was going on and how the kids were doing. It is weird that even though we dont have heat and things arent going well at home, I still miss my home. I am getting homesick and want to come home. My mother is taking me home on saturday. I hate traveling so the 5 hour trip will feel like forever. I am glad that I got to spend the holidays with my parents and oldest daughter. Well I have to go for now. I hope everyone is safe and well. I will keep everyone in my prayers. Here is something that I got in the mail and I thought I would share this with everyone:

Will Jesus Come to Earth Again?

Jesus said, "In my Father's home [heaven] there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me."1

Year after year with "tireless regularity and eternal patience," God reminds the world every Christmas that he sent his Son, Jesus, to save lost mankind. Christmas is also God's reminder that Jesus is coming back to earth for all who have accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior.

His first coming is an indisputable fact of history. His second coming to end this world age is just as certain. According to Bible scholars, there are 1,845 references in the Old Testament and 318 in the New Testament about Christ's second coming to earth. This means for every prophecy in the Bible about Christ's first coming—every one of which was fulfilled in minute detail—there are eight about his second coming!

Jesus is coming again. God has promised this in his Word, the Bible. Jesus himself promised it as well. And all the signs thatJesus and the Bible said would immediately precede his return are evident today, also reminding us that Christ's return could be very soon. If it were today, would you be ready?

Christmas is also a reminder to all Christians that Jesus has commissioned all of us to spread his message of salvation to everyone everywhere.2 Jesus said that, "This gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."3 Never has this been more possible than it is today because our generation has the greatest means of worldwide communications the world has ever seen.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, how can I ever thank you enough for your great CHRISTmas love gift to me and to the world. In appreciation for all you have done for me, I surrender my heart and life afresh to you. Please make me usable and use me in whatever way you will to be a part of your plan to spread the gospel to the world in which I live and in some way to people around the world. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name. Amen."


Friday, December 21, 2007

Going to my parents house

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!!! I am going downstate to my parent's house for Christmas. I am leaving tomorrow and not getting back until the following saturday.I will still be checking my e-mails as much as possible while I am away. I really would rather stay at home but I am going for the kids. I am going to try to not be depressed while I am there. Try is the word.I havent had very good times lately.  I am just going to celebrate it as our Savior's birthday.I am very thankful for His Birth and resurrection so that we can be saved through Him . That is truly a blessing. That is the only  Good thought that I have about it this year.I still try to keep my faith and believe that everything happens for a purpose that He only knows. That alone keeps me going. 

 I will be thinking about everyone and keeping everyone in my prayers. Let's all pray that the new year will bring better times for everyone. Thank you all for being there for me.




Wednesday, December 5, 2007

very lost

I am a little bit better today. I feel very lost. I dont really know how to feel about things anymore. I have too much going on. I try to tell myself to keep going but it is hard. We may lose our place to live here shortly. My sister had really messed things up financially. It looks as if our family may have to split up for awhile. My husband's mother wont let us all stay with her except for Robert and our son Daniel. She said she doesnt have the room for all of us. She lives 3 hours from here so I wont be seeing my husband or my three year old son very often. My youngest daughter is going to go live with my mother. My mother said that the kids could come stay with her but not me. She said that I would drive my father nuts.He likes his own space.  I dont know why. He is barely even home. But I am glad that my daughter has a place to go. My oldest son refuses to go to my mother's house. He said he wants to stay here and tough it out with me. He is 15 years old and i respect his wishes but if it gets too bad , he will have to go. We dont have any heat here and i just want to do what is best for the kids. All we have is  kerosene heater and electric heaters. They dont heat this place up all too well. Plus they really arent safe. It breaks my heart to see my family seperate but it will only be until we can establish a place to live together again somewhere. We have tried everything and nothing is working out right now. I just pray that we can all be together again soon. I have applied for low income housing but there is a 18 month waiting list for them so i will have to see what i can do in the mean time.

We are also looking for places for the dogs and cats to go as well. I am looking for good homes and pray that I find them one before I have to leave here.

I am really trying to keep my chin up and try to keep myself going. The fact that we all have to split up like this is killing me. I will miss all of them dearly. I want to do the right thing. Times are hard and we just have to keep going.

Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers. You are all wonderful people. I am sorry  that I have nothing upbeat to write. I try to find good things to think about and write about. I will keep everyone posted on how things are going.

A PC Christmas



A PC Christmas

T’was the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
Why the Politically Correct Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday


Tuesday, December 4, 2007


I got this in my e-mails and decided to share it. I thought it was all so true.

1. Pegs on Which to Hang Anger

"Behold, You [God] desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom."1

As a general rule, loved people love people and hurt people hurt people. And angry people, besides angering other people, are constantly looking for pegs on which to hanger their anger.

I was watching a TV interview recently and the person being interviewed was obviously a very angry person with a not-too-hidden agenda. This person avoided every question the interviewer asked and continued to spew out his bitter negative comments.

This type of person, who has a negative axe to grind, sees only what he wants to see and hears only what he wants to hear. And he will twist what he hears to make it match his distorted perception of reality. Reality is not on their agenda.

It's the same with people who have a critical attitude. They're angry too and are constantly looking for pegs on which to hang their anger. They will read into situations exactly what they want to see and hear as a way to avoid facing their own reality. They live in denial—an ultimately dangerous and self-destructive way to live.

Found something disturbing

I know I havent posted in so long. I really should have but have not been able to get myself to do it. I have been a total wreck. While I was going through my sister's things so that i could send the family what they wanted, I ran into a journal. I should not have read it but i wanted to know what was going through her mind the last couple of months before her death. That was a big mistake. The things she wrote about me in that journal were absolutelty awful. She called me unmentionable names and she said that I was a burden to her. She said I was a psycho and she wished that I would move out of the house and get away from her. She put that in her journal everyday for the last 3 months before her death. She said she hated me and wanted me away from her. She said that i was never there for her. I dont understand where she could have gotten that from. I sat with her in the hospital for hours on end while she treated me and the nurses horribly. I put up with her abusive attitude at home when she came home from the hospital the last 3 weeks of her life. I was there with her when she passed on. I was alwasy there when she was sick or needed me. I had to go on all kinds of meds because of the stress that i was having dealing with her horrible attitude. I love her and miss her dearly but i cant help being so angry. I have not taken this well. I am so lost. I lost my sister and dearest friend in the world and to find out that she did not feel the same way about me is devastating. I have been sleeping alot. My body feels so drained. She was such a controlling person. She had to control everything that everyone did. If i tried to do something on my own, she would go insanely mad. She would say things like"why am I even here for then if i cant do this?" Then to complain about it in her journal was very confusing. There were a couple of times the last few days that I really thought that I could not go on anymore. We barely have any heat in the house and we barely are able to even stay here. Finding another place has been impossible. I am so tired. I am sorry that I couldnt write better things in here. Or that I didnt have a better atitude. I wish that I was alot stronger. This has been way too much. Thank you everyone for listening. You are all in my prayers.