Monday, March 31, 2008

i think I may stop posting

Hello all...I dont think I will be posting anymore. Thank you everyone for your support. I am very happy to have met you all.



awful news

Hello all..I wish I had better news ro tell everyone but I have hit rock bottom. I am sorry that I have not been online lately. I have been packing my house. My husband and I are going our seperate ways.. My husband lost his job and no longer can collect unemplayment due to an error from the company he worked from. He is moving to his mother's with my youngest son.. The stipulation from his mother was however that I did not speak to either one of them pretty much ever again. I am not allowed to call and I am not allowed to write. My son loves his daddy and I could not seperate them. I guess sometimes you have to do what is best for the child then what is best for yourself. My two older children and I are going to a shelter downstate about 5 hours from here. I will be about 3 hours away from my husband. I am however filing for a divorce being that it will be easier for me to find help being a single mom. I am praying that the children and youth dont take my children because of living in a shelter with them. My parents refuse to let me stay with them for the 18 months until I can get into the low income housing. I guess maybe I will see. I have lost faith in God. I trusted him and he has seperated my family and has broken my heart. I can only take with me what I can fit in the trunk of my car and that really isnt much at all. Juts clothes pretty much. The people we had staying here turned out to be more of a burden than what i though. They ate our food , used our electric and baths, used our laundry machine. They had a roof over thier heads and only gave me 450 a month to live here. That included phone, electric, and everytihng esle they needed. They took advavtage of me and I wll never trust another human being again. I barely even want to live but i trudge on. I cried in the bathtub for hours this morning. Thank you all for being there for me. I am leaving over the weekend so I might not be on very much. The computer belongs to my husband and I will have to go to thge library when I get settled to keep in touch. I will keep everyone in my prayers. Love ya



Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter

I hope everyone had a very nice Easter. I am doing a bit better but I still feel tired and shakey. The kids got up and had thier Easter hunt but they had to hunt the eggs inside because of the snow. But they had fun anyways.

Saint Theresa' s Prayer   

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Had some bad side affects

Hello all.. As always I hope that everyone is doing ok.... I woke up at 4 am this morning with horrible side affects from my medicine. The doctor put me on celexa for my fibro because she thinks it is related to my depression. I had a cold feeling all over my body and I felt clammy. I couldnt breath and I felt like I was going to pass out. I was so scared that i was dieing. I felt as if i was going to pass out at anytime. Today I feel better but I feel jittery. I am always shaking. I also feel dizzy from time to time. The doctor said it was normal side affects but I dont really trust her much. I will keep everyone posted on how I am doing. God Bless everyone...

Monday, March 17, 2008

Went to the doctor today

Hello all..I went to the doctor today. I have been in so much pain the last few weeks. It has been so bad I wanted to cry. I have a relaly bad bladder infection. I also have been diagnosed with severe fibromalgyia. I was already dianosed with that but I didnt realize how painful it could be. It is horrible. She is sending me to a pain doctor to get some kind of physical therapy and pain medicine to get this under control without having to dump narcotics at me for the pain. I am hoping that this works out. I hope everyone is doing well. I will try to write more later... God Bless...

Saturday, March 15, 2008


I wanted to say sorry for my last entry. When I read it, I took it the wrong way. I reread it and now I see where everyone is coming from. Sorry. 

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Trying to keep a decent attitude

Hello All ..I hope everyone is doing ok. I did write in my journal the other night but Aol wouldnt let me post it. UGHH!! Then I started rewriting in and my power went out. So I just kind of gave up until today. I am doing ok I guess. I am still not out of hot water yet but I am still trudging on. I am having some problems with my new neighbors. I guess that is to be expected when two families have to live so close together. We are conected to each other by an addition so we se each other every day. I try to stay out of thier family business but they are always in mine. I need them around though to make it. So I guess I have to take the bad with the good. It is frustrating though to be the one who kind of takes the bad words and keeps thier mouth shut. But I know I have to for my family's sake. My husband and I arent doing well. I am hoping that things will work out for the best. I dont think I want to patch things up. I hope that doesnt sound bad but that is how I feel right now. This has been a horrible four months for me. I have noticed it has been a hard few months for alot of people.

I had a dream this morning that really bothered me. I dreamed that I was in a really bad car accident . I dont know if I made it or not but I know that the woman who was in the car coming towards me didnt make it. I dreamed she called me and said my name three times. Then my friend, Mike, who passed away came to me and gave me a hug and said that everything was going to be ok. He was a wonderful friend to me. When he hugged me I felt overwhelming peace. When I woke up I was shook up and crying. I really miss him. He was such a understanding guy. Part of me thinks that he really visited me in my dreams last night. I know everyone thinks I need a straight jacket. lol... I thought I would share that with everyone. Well I have to go for now but I will TRY to write in my journal more. God Bless you all.


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Thought I would share this

Somone sent this to me and I thought I would share it. I hope that I get a chance to write more in my journal later. I hope everyone is well.


Have you ever been rescued because God gave you foresight?

The wise look ahead to see what is coming, but fools deceive themselves.

Proverbs 14:8 NLT

Victorious foresight

Wouldn't it be great to see into the future? To have the ability to bypass future mistakes? In a way, Christians have this ability. God has given us a precious gift—the gift of sight.

This "sight" is not like the false sight of fortune-tellers or magicians. It is the spiritual ability to see who is in the future, instead of merely what is in the future. So, we no longer blindly grope around in this life as those who are lost. Christ is our future and our hope.

Just as a successful marathon runner knows the location of the finish line before setting goals for the race, we identify Christ as our finish line. This great knowledge allows us to set daily goals for wise living. In the end each day of our lives may be lived victoriously if we remember our final outcome. The Christian's race is already won through Christ's victory on the cross. And when we cross the finish line of life, we will be in Christ's presence.

WISE WAYS  The next time you feel fear or persecution regarding your faith, remember that Christ has already won the victory!