A blog about my struggles with depression and panic disorder. The loss of my sister to COPD last october 20th has been a very hard thing for me to cope with. Since that time I have been diagnosed with Fibromalgia and RA along with my other mental struggles. I am trying to strive for peace in my life which has been a challenge for me. I need to find peace for my happiness as well as my children.
Monday, March 31, 2008
i think I may stop posting
Hello all...I dont think I will be posting anymore. Thank you everyone for your support. I am very happy to have met you all.
28 comments:
Anonymous
said...
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY PRAYERS.STAY STRONG FOR THE KIDS SAKE. GOD BE WITH YOU AND GUIDE YOU CONNIE
I think you should still post ... I know it helped me a lot throught the yrs! I have been through a lot, my ex cheating on me , my x not paying support ... I know it is tough, and there will be rough days but you will make it through! and IMO journaling helps a lot!
Very saddened by your circumstances. But please do not lose faith. The wheel will turn in your favor. That is the way it goes. Good luck and please stop by to let us know how you are doing.
May I ask where you live at??? I'm very sorry to hear all of this , from what I have been reading. I wish I had been your friend, I wish I had not found you now that your leaving. It's like grasping at straws becasue I want to help you. Where do you live at? Hugs Ang
Christine -- Ang is right -- I'd forgotten, but Angie and some others also work with a journal called The Giving Tree. "J-Land" can be quite supportive -- and there are weirdos online anywhere but Angie and Sharon and Krissy and probably others who have commented on your journal (I'm just only remembering them right now) -- they'd all try to help you. Perhaps you can e-mail someone what state / district / territory etc. you are in. Plus you really may need a family law attorney, yes, even a free consultation or something. This must be just horrible for you, but know you are not alone. -- Robin
Keep the faith and don't give up. I too separated from my husband and it was the best thing to do. Instead of getting down I got a college degree and now am in a good position at the college that I went back to school at. I had to work hard and work for peanuts for months but it was worth it. Most colleges have programs for single mothers. Get back in the game. It isn't over yet.
I hope you get this!!! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all the struggle!! I hope that you will know that Jland is a place to come where everyone loves you and will keep you in their prayers!! Most of all, I do hope you know that your son loves and needs you just as much as he does his daddy... don't let them tell you any different. You have to get on your feet for your kids... ALL of them... Let that be your drive, your encouragement to 'tredge on'. Please come back when you can and keep us posted. I'll be praying for you!!!
Never give up hope. And God? Well you just don't know what he may have in store for you. You might be surprised. I know that I have felt that He turned His back on me several times in my life, only to have something unexpected to happen that was for the good. It's hard to see it, I know and totally understand. If you can keep up journaling you should. It helps to get things out of your system.
Hi Christine, Gem here, sent over by Magic Smoke editor, letting us know (jland forum) you could use some support and friendly shoulder. I've read some of your previous entries down to get a sense of what's going on. You sure are going through a very rough time that made me appreciates of what I have, which is intact family and a roof over our head.
I know what it feels like not to have the financial means to support the whole family. I know the pain you're feeling of being outcast from your in-laws and parents. I cannot imagine the pain you're feeling right now-of knowing you'll be seperated from one of your kids.
Money does separates people, specially couples who can't make ends meet. But the one thing I learned is to not let the money dictate your life or let it take over your mind. A lot of the things going on in your marriage and family life is surely making you more susceptible to illness and definitely to more depressions.
I just want you to know that I do understand how you are feeling lately/now, because I have been there. What you need the most right now is understanding and help from people closest to you, your friends to be there to cry on, (and for them to not judge you for the circumstances going on in your life right now.)
Taking a break from writing gives you some time to tend to other things that maybe more priority to you, and that is understandable. But if you ever, ever need to let it all out, and there's no one nearby to talk to, then this is what your journal is for. It's for you to write your thoughts and I assure you there are more caring readers out there to help you through even if it is just through their comments and/or email.
I've lived in a shelter before, with my mom and sis, when my stepdad walk out on us because of financial problems. It's not easy, but somehow you'll get through this. I believe what you need the most now is to be STRONGER than ever and try to make a conscious choice to better yourself, for your sake and your children's.
I will be praying that you will find something or someone to help you over this hurdle. Life is not easy and I read just a little of your journal so I know you've got a tough time yet ahead of you. Please know that our dear Lord does care and is always with you. 'On Ya' - ma
Christine, do try to keep in touch when you can, like Janie said, keep the journal open so you can post updates whenever you can even if it is months in between because we will be thinking about you
Hi, Came via the Call for Support journal. I am very sad to hear of your circumstances. It is already bad enough that you will be divorcing your husband, but it is cruel to be denied access to your children. I am of course not there on the ground, and am yet to read back through your journal. I hope it all turns out better than it seems to be at present. If you feel like posting again at some point, please do. Otherwise, rest assured that you are in our thoughts at this time.
Hello Christine. What a heartbreaking entry. I hope you will keep posting and let us know how you are. You really need to get some proper support to help you through this terrible time. I honestly believe that once you hit complete rock bottom, you can never get as low as that again and, I just hope that you will find your life moving In an upwards capacity very soon. Love Pam xx http://journals.aol.co.uk/pamal3/almost-40/
Please don't be so sad.. i care about you, even tho i don't know you. i have struggles too. me too...i love animals more than i could express. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! It is so good to write....you can always write to me. i understand every kind of hurt. you take care of yourself... Life is a struggle.........believe in yourself and your own strength. i didn't read all your stuff, just the Headline. Be strong..and ....it's Spring. elizabeth
Please don't be so sad.. i care about you, even tho i don't know you. i have struggles too. me too...i love animals more than i could express. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! It is so good to write....you can always write to me. i understand every kind of hurt. you take care of yourself... Life is a struggle.........believe in yourself and your own strength. i didn't read all your stuff, just the Headline. Be strong..and ....it's Spring. elizabeth
Christine, how in the world can you give up with all these people around you to support you. I know that you may be in a bind right now but we all want you to have a good life. It may take time but you can do it. Lucille
I am so sorry....I can see why you have lost faith...my heart goes out to you and I hope someday...soon you will find comfort and happiness again. you are in my thoughts and still in my prayers, I do pray you find peace again.... Kelly
Oh sweetie. i hope you read all these comments.There are people that care alot for you. a couple i notice have been there from day 1. I have just reached the end of your journal. I feel your pain i also know the pain and depression that you are suffering. I too suffer with Fibro.Your inner mind is normal. You are hurting and you want to lick yor wounds. You have been through so much, Its no wonder you want to be alone. But please please give your self time. Go back to your doctor and tell him/she what is going on. Write a list on what your problems are. Fibro can cause chronic depression. A site you might find interesting is Fibro hugs,If you ever need to talk im only a email away. katie39041@talktalk.net love and hugs katie
I just want you to know I have you in my prayers. Never give up...God will help you get through this. Please don't lose your faith. I wish there was something we could do for you. Please take care of yourself. Hugs, Pat from Virginia
It breaks my heart to hear all that you have been going through, it cannot have been easy. It anoys me so much that people can mistreat others and then you are the one who suffers at the end of it.
My heart and soul goes out to you and i hope that whatever decision you come to is the right one for you. It seems that there are a lot of people on here who are there for you emotionally and i hope that you will have the strength to carry on knowing that.
28 comments:
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY PRAYERS.STAY STRONG FOR THE KIDS SAKE.
GOD BE WITH YOU AND GUIDE YOU
CONNIE
I think you should still post ... I know it helped me a lot throught the yrs! I have been through a lot, my ex cheating on me , my x not paying support ... I know it is tough, and there will be rough days but you will make it through! and IMO journaling helps a lot!
Sharon
Hi Christine,
Very saddened by your circumstances. But please do not lose faith. The wheel will turn in your favor. That is the way it goes. Good luck and please stop by to let us know how you are doing.
Vish
May I ask where you live at???
I'm very sorry to hear all of this , from what I have been reading. I wish I had been your friend, I wish I had not found you now that your leaving. It's like grasping at straws becasue I want to help you. Where do you live at?
Hugs
Ang
Please hang in there and rebuild. Never give up. Your children need you. You will make it.
Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Christine -- Ang is right -- I'd forgotten, but Angie and some others also work with a journal called The Giving Tree. "J-Land" can be quite supportive -- and there are weirdos online anywhere but Angie and Sharon and Krissy and probably others who have commented on your journal (I'm just only remembering them right now) -- they'd all try to help you. Perhaps you can e-mail someone what state / district / territory etc. you are in. Plus you really may need a family law attorney, yes, even a free consultation or something. This must be just horrible for you, but know you are not alone. -- Robin
Keep the faith and don't give up. I too separated from my husband and it was the best thing to do. Instead of getting down I got a college degree and now am in a good position at the college that I went back to school at.
I had to work hard and work for peanuts for months but it was worth it.
Most colleges have programs for single mothers. Get back in the game. It isn't over yet.
I hope you get this!!! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all the struggle!! I hope that you will know that Jland is a place to come where everyone loves you and will keep you in their prayers!! Most of all, I do hope you know that your son loves and needs you just as much as he does his daddy... don't let them tell you any different. You have to get on your feet for your kids... ALL of them... Let that be your drive, your encouragement to 'tredge on'. Please come back when you can and keep us posted. I'll be praying for you!!!
Joann
Never give up hope.
And God? Well you just don't know what he may have in store for you. You might be surprised. I know that I have felt that He turned His back on me several times in my life, only to have something unexpected to happen that was for the good. It's hard to see it, I know and totally understand.
If you can keep up journaling you should. It helps to get things out of your system.
Kathy
Hi Christine,
Gem here, sent over by Magic Smoke editor, letting us know (jland forum) you could use some support and friendly shoulder.
I've read some of your previous entries down to get a sense of what's going on.
You sure are going through a very rough time that made me appreciates of what I have, which is intact family and a roof over our head.
I know what it feels like not to have the financial means to support the whole family. I know the pain you're feeling of being outcast from your in-laws and parents. I cannot imagine the pain you're feeling right now-of knowing you'll be seperated from one of your kids.
Money does separates people, specially couples who can't make ends meet. But the one thing I learned is to not let the money dictate your life or let it take over your mind. A lot of the things going on in your marriage and family life is surely making you more susceptible to illness and definitely to more depressions.
I just want you to know that I do understand how you are feeling lately/now, because I have been there. What you need the most right now is understanding and help from people closest to you, your friends to be there to cry on, (and for them to not judge you for the circumstances going on in your life right now.)
(continued)
Gem :-)
(continued)
Taking a break from writing gives you some time to tend to other things that maybe more priority to you, and that is understandable. But if you ever, ever need to let it all out, and there's no one nearby to talk to, then this is what your journal is for. It's for you to write your thoughts and I assure you there are more caring readers out there to help you through even if it is just through their comments and/or email.
I've lived in a shelter before, with my mom and sis, when my stepdad walk out on us because of financial problems. It's not easy, but somehow you'll get through this. I believe what you need the most now is to be STRONGER than ever and try to make a conscious choice to better yourself, for your sake and your children's.
Sending hugs and prayers,
Gem
I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Michelle
I will be praying that you will find something or someone to help you over this hurdle. Life is not easy and I read just a little of your journal so I know you've got a tough time yet ahead of you. Please know that our dear Lord does care and is always with you. 'On Ya' - ma
Christine... just leave your journal open incase you need to talk to someone. In my prayers, Love, Janie
Christine, I will keep you in my prayers. Have faith, things will work out for you~
{{{HUGS}}}
Marie
Christine, do try to keep in touch when you can, like Janie said, keep the journal open so you can post updates whenever you can even if it is months in between because we will be thinking about you
betty
praying for you:) Remember this is just a bend in the road of life.
Deb
good luck in all that you do god bless mort x
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))You in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi,
Came via the Call for Support journal. I am very sad to hear of your circumstances. It is already bad enough that you will be divorcing your husband, but it is cruel to be denied access to your children. I am of course not there on the ground, and am yet to read back through your journal. I hope it all turns out better than it seems to be at present. If you feel like posting again at some point, please do. Otherwise, rest assured that you are in our thoughts at this time.
Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip/
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/call-for-support/
Hello Christine. What a heartbreaking entry. I hope you will keep posting and let us know how you are. You really need to get some proper support to help you through this terrible time. I honestly believe that once you hit complete rock bottom, you can never get as low as that again and, I just hope that you will find your life moving In an upwards capacity very soon. Love Pam xx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pamal3/almost-40/
Please don't be so sad.. i care about you, even tho i don't know you.
i have struggles too. me too...i love animals more than i could express.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!
It is so good to write....you can always write to me. i understand every kind of hurt. you take care of yourself...
Life is a struggle.........believe in yourself and your own strength.
i didn't read all your stuff, just the Headline.
Be strong..and ....it's Spring. elizabeth
Please don't be so sad.. i care about you, even tho i don't know you.
i have struggles too. me too...i love animals more than i could express.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!
It is so good to write....you can always write to me. i understand every kind of hurt. you take care of yourself...
Life is a struggle.........believe in yourself and your own strength.
i didn't read all your stuff, just the Headline.
Be strong..and ....it's Spring. elizabeth
Christine, how in the world can you give up with all these people around you to support you. I know that you may be in a bind right now but we all want you to have a good life. It may take time but you can do it. Lucille
I am so sorry....I can see why you have lost faith...my heart goes out to you and I hope someday...soon you will find comfort and happiness again. you are in my thoughts and still in my prayers, I do pray you find peace again....
Kelly
Oh sweetie. i hope you read all these comments.There are people that care alot for you. a couple i notice have been there from day 1. I have just reached the end of your journal. I feel your pain i also know the pain and depression that you are suffering. I too suffer with Fibro.Your inner mind is normal. You are hurting and you want to lick yor wounds. You have been through so much, Its no wonder you want to be alone. But please please give your self time. Go back to your doctor and tell him/she what is going on. Write a list on what your problems are. Fibro can cause chronic depression. A site you might find interesting is Fibro hugs,If you ever need to talk im only a email away.
katie39041@talktalk.net
love and hugs
katie
I just want you to know I have you in my prayers. Never give up...God will help you get through this. Please don't lose your faith. I wish there was something we could do for you. Please take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Pat from Virginia
I am so sorry that i late getting here.
It breaks my heart to hear all that you have been going through, it cannot have been easy. It anoys me so much that people can mistreat others and then you are the one who suffers at the end of it.
My heart and soul goes out to you and i hope that whatever decision you come to is the right one for you. It seems that there are a lot of people on here who are there for you emotionally and i hope that you will have the strength to carry on knowing that.
My thoughts and prayers are with you
hugs Jayne
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