Monday, April 14, 2008

Thank you

Hello all.....I am sorry it took so long to post in my journal. I took a few days off to think and try to improve my attitude. I am doing ok. I am going to go see a psychologist for some depression issues. I guess watching my sister die has put more of a toll on my mental health then I thought. There hasnt ben a day gone by that I have not thought about her since her death in october. I really miss her. She was my best friend!! We did everything together. Her death was such a shock. I guess I did know that she wasnt doing well but did not want to accept it. I just didnt think that she would die. It still hurts. I cried the other day. I am so afraid that people around me are going to die. I am over protective of my children and my family members. I am driving them crazy!! I dont mean to.

Thank you all for all the comments. It is comforting to see that there are that many caring people out there. I live a solitary life. I dont have many friends. In fact I dont have any friends. I live in the country so it is hard to even make friends here.  It is hard to fit in. I have very bad social anxiety so that doesnt help either.

I will try to post everyday. (I know I have said that before) I think it is good for me to get my feelings out. I warn everyone sometimes my attitude isnt the greatest from day to day. I just write how I feel. Thank you all for being there for me.


ceilisundancer said...

Post when it works for you; if it works to have a goal of daily, so be it, if not, that's okay.  Just glad you're putting one foot in front of another and making it through the day:)

My dad died in October.  I woke this a.m. from a dream with him in it, wanting time with me.

I don't know that we're geared to forget per se.  Moving along, however, does help and I think it goes in steps and can take a lot of time.

Your sister had been a large part of your life.

It's okay.

mariebm56 said...

Glad to see you posting again.  Take one day at a time.
Know that we are here for you...; )
Marie said...

I can totally relate to how you feel...there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my sister....I am hoping one day my heart will start to heal....somedays I just feel so alone.....I guess as they say take one day at a time but there are days that seem to go on forever.... J-land has been so good to me in helping me through my journey into the healing process......take care of yourself and I hope we can both find peace one day....

jckfrstross said...

Life is a struggle:) praying for you :) you will never forget but with time it will get easier i am here if you need me


bojgill4375 said...

Praying that you will feel better soon Christian. Hugs, Janie