Hello all.....I am sorry it took so long to post in my journal. I took a few days off to think and try to improve my attitude. I am doing ok. I am going to go see a psychologist for some depression issues. I guess watching my sister die has put more of a toll on my mental health then I thought. There hasnt ben a day gone by that I have not thought about her since her death in october. I really miss her. She was my best friend!! We did everything together. Her death was such a shock. I guess I did know that she wasnt doing well but did not want to accept it. I just didnt think that she would die. It still hurts. I cried the other day. I am so afraid that people around me are going to die. I am over protective of my children and my family members. I am driving them crazy!! I dont mean to.
Thank you all for all the comments. It is comforting to see that there are that many caring people out there. I live a solitary life. I dont have many friends. In fact I dont have any friends. I live in the country so it is hard to even make friends here. It is hard to fit in. I have very bad social anxiety so that doesnt help either.
I will try to post everyday. (I know I have said that before) I think it is good for me to get my feelings out. I warn everyone sometimes my attitude isnt the greatest from day to day. I just write how I feel. Thank you all for being there for me.