Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Trying to keep a decent attitude

Hello All ..I hope everyone is doing ok. I did write in my journal the other night but Aol wouldnt let me post it. UGHH!! Then I started rewriting in and my power went out. So I just kind of gave up until today. I am doing ok I guess. I am still not out of hot water yet but I am still trudging on. I am having some problems with my new neighbors. I guess that is to be expected when two families have to live so close together. We are conected to each other by an addition so we se each other every day. I try to stay out of thier family business but they are always in mine. I need them around though to make it. So I guess I have to take the bad with the good. It is frustrating though to be the one who kind of takes the bad words and keeps thier mouth shut. But I know I have to for my family's sake. My husband and I arent doing well. I am hoping that things will work out for the best. I dont think I want to patch things up. I hope that doesnt sound bad but that is how I feel right now. This has been a horrible four months for me. I have noticed it has been a hard few months for alot of people.

I had a dream this morning that really bothered me. I dreamed that I was in a really bad car accident . I dont know if I made it or not but I know that the woman who was in the car coming towards me didnt make it. I dreamed she called me and said my name three times. Then my friend, Mike, who passed away came to me and gave me a hug and said that everything was going to be ok. He was a wonderful friend to me. When he hugged me I felt overwhelming peace. When I woke up I was shook up and crying. I really miss him. He was such a understanding guy. Part of me thinks that he really visited me in my dreams last night. I know everyone thinks I need a straight jacket. lol... I thought I would share that with everyone. Well I have to go for now but I will TRY to write in my journal more. God Bless you all.

 

5 comments:

lv2trnscrb said...

I'm sorry its been a hard time for you; I know you have had your fair share of struggles; can only hope the days/months ahead will get slowly better for you and yours

betty

bojgill4375 said...

Sure hope things get better for you Christine. Keeping you in my prayers. A couple of months before my mother passed away I dreamed she called me and told me she was really bad sick. I sat right straight up in bed. I know what you mean about dreams... they can seem so real. God Bless and hugs, Janie

manda2177 said...

I think you need an attitude adjustment ASAP!!!!  The LAST thing you need to go through right now is a divorce!  Believe me, you hae a CHOICE in that decision.  Just make the CHOICE to smile at him instead of frown.  Make the CHOICE to hug him instead of ignore him.  Make the CHOICE to ignore him if he is a grouch.  Make the CHOICE to tell him you love him.  Christine, you can amke your marriage one of stroybooks, YOU have the power and the ability to make the CHOICE to love him with all you have.  Try focusing all your attention on just loving him up!  Maybe you'll even begin to feel better about everything else in your life....

God bless-
Amanda

mjgm1954 said...

Hi my friend. what are you up to? I havent seen you online or heard the doggy bark! I hope you are feeling better. Is there any sunshine up there yet?
It must be nerveracking having to have your privacy invaded . Did the hubby find a job. yet? I think you need a vacation. I know that i do. If I didnt hate the cold i would come see you! i want to go somewhere far all by myself  lol. Sometimes i think i dont ever want to come back. If it were not for my 13 year old i would not even think twice about getting away.
I dreamed about my dad. 20 years after his passing i still have not figured out why. it really has not affected my life so it must not have been anything important. surely you miss your friend. dont dwell on it. i am not trying to tell you what to do. i didnt dwell on my weird dream good thing i didnt waste time and energy on that cause all hell broke out in my life after that.LOL

gehi6 said...

I think your friend did visit you because he knows that you need help right now, so take heart in the fact that he is still worrying about you and knows you are going through a bad time in life.  I have read down throught you journal and see you have much to contend with right now. But once decisions are made then some kind of progress can be made, too.  Let us hope you get feeling a little more encouraged as you take a step at a tme, hard as it might seem to be.  The journals editor sent us over as she feels you really need support right now, and so do I.  Gerry  Go to the library.  I have done that when my computer was down.  You need to hang on to any source of friends and emotional support.  http://journals.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/