I am a little bit better today. I feel very lost. I dont really know how to feel about things anymore. I have too much going on. I try to tell myself to keep going but it is hard. We may lose our place to live here shortly. My sister had really messed things up financially. It looks as if our family may have to split up for awhile. My husband's mother wont let us all stay with her except for Robert and our son Daniel. She said she doesnt have the room for all of us. She lives 3 hours from here so I wont be seeing my husband or my three year old son very often. My youngest daughter is going to go live with my mother. My mother said that the kids could come stay with her but not me. She said that I would drive my father nuts.He likes his own space. I dont know why. He is barely even home. But I am glad that my daughter has a place to go. My oldest son refuses to go to my mother's house. He said he wants to stay here and tough it out with me. He is 15 years old and i respect his wishes but if it gets too bad , he will have to go. We dont have any heat here and i just want to do what is best for the kids. All we have is kerosene heater and electric heaters. They dont heat this place up all too well. Plus they really arent safe. It breaks my heart to see my family seperate but it will only be until we can establish a place to live together again somewhere. We have tried everything and nothing is working out right now. I just pray that we can all be together again soon. I have applied for low income housing but there is a 18 month waiting list for them so i will have to see what i can do in the mean time.
We are also looking for places for the dogs and cats to go as well. I am looking for good homes and pray that I find them one before I have to leave here.
I am really trying to keep my chin up and try to keep myself going. The fact that we all have to split up like this is killing me. I will miss all of them dearly. I want to do the right thing. Times are hard and we just have to keep going.
Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers. You are all wonderful people. I am sorry that I have nothing upbeat to write. I try to find good things to think about and write about. I will keep everyone posted on how things are going.