Wednesday, December 5, 2007

very lost

I am a little bit better today. I feel very lost. I dont really know how to feel about things anymore. I have too much going on. I try to tell myself to keep going but it is hard. We may lose our place to live here shortly. My sister had really messed things up financially. It looks as if our family may have to split up for awhile. My husband's mother wont let us all stay with her except for Robert and our son Daniel. She said she doesnt have the room for all of us. She lives 3 hours from here so I wont be seeing my husband or my three year old son very often. My youngest daughter is going to go live with my mother. My mother said that the kids could come stay with her but not me. She said that I would drive my father nuts.He likes his own space.  I dont know why. He is barely even home. But I am glad that my daughter has a place to go. My oldest son refuses to go to my mother's house. He said he wants to stay here and tough it out with me. He is 15 years old and i respect his wishes but if it gets too bad , he will have to go. We dont have any heat here and i just want to do what is best for the kids. All we have is  kerosene heater and electric heaters. They dont heat this place up all too well. Plus they really arent safe. It breaks my heart to see my family seperate but it will only be until we can establish a place to live together again somewhere. We have tried everything and nothing is working out right now. I just pray that we can all be together again soon. I have applied for low income housing but there is a 18 month waiting list for them so i will have to see what i can do in the mean time.

We are also looking for places for the dogs and cats to go as well. I am looking for good homes and pray that I find them one before I have to leave here.

I am really trying to keep my chin up and try to keep myself going. The fact that we all have to split up like this is killing me. I will miss all of them dearly. I want to do the right thing. Times are hard and we just have to keep going.

Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers. You are all wonderful people. I am sorry  that I have nothing upbeat to write. I try to find good things to think about and write about. I will keep everyone posted on how things are going.


bojgill4375 said...

LOL Had to laugh at the graphic! Things are really bad all over the USA and many just don't realize it yet. People are loosing their homes right now. So sad. I am so sorry that you have to split up your family, that has to be hard here at Christmas time. I don't blame you for worrying and being upset, we are all human. We do worry, but know that God is working things out for the best. It is hard to see it right now, but I am sure he will do something. It is much easier for me to say this than for you because I am not the one going through this.  Going through problems are so much hardier.  Will be keeping all of you in my prayers, Janie

manda2177 said...

I will pray you all find a home together...

God bless-

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I am so sorry that you are going through all this I wish there were something that I could do personally ...but I will have to pray for all of you..I could not bear to not be with my children..I am sorry to hear your mother will not let you come stay with her..I could never do that to my children no matter what! The only way is if another child would be in harms way!  I will be praying friend!  Hugs,TerryAnn

lucille4364 said...

Christine, what has happened that you are splitting up the family.  I could not comment on your journal because it was messed up for a while.  I have been trying to keep up with you but have not seen you on im lately.  My pc has been acting up off and on.

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

How are things with this....You have been on my mind!  I am so praying for you!  Thank you all can atleast stay together!  I wish there were something I could do!  Just know I am praying!  Hugs,TerryAnn