Saturday, July 28, 2007

I am not sure how to start this. I am very new to blogging. I have written journals before but not online. I have not kept a journal is a very long time. I guess I was distracted by other things. Maybe it was just pure laziness. I don't really know for sure.
I am coming to a turning point in my life where I have the opportunity to start a new life. I am trying to find a house to buy. My husband and I have been through so much. I really want us to have a chance to have a better life. We both deserve it.
I hope everything goes well for us tomorrow
There are good things and bad things that go with this move. I have to find homes for some of my pets. :-( That is not really something that I want to do. Especially my baby Domino. I will always miss him. I hope that he will go to a good home. I have pictures of him all over the place. This will defenetly be hard But I feel it is best for the family to get a house closer to town. The rules are different in town and it will take some time to get used to it. It is a big adjustment for all of us.
I think I will have the hardest time of all . I dont do well with change even if it is good. I am so scared of this move. This is so much different. I am wondering if I can make it or not. I hope so.. I want to succeed for once in my life.
My self esteem is so low that maybe succeeding at something will be good for me. I have had so many bad experiences with men. The last one i had was so abusive that he drug me down emotionally. Now I have a great guy and I cant shake the low self esteeem and depression I had with the other one.
One of my problems is Welfare. I want to get off of it but I feel like I am trapped on it. I get foodstamps and medical. I hate it. I want to be self sufficient. I dont want to rely on the Government for my food and medical. But it is so hard to get off of it.
I need some rest I will enter more tomorrow. Today is July 28, 2007.


abaleman666 said...

you can do it!  blog on!

grofsand said...

It's rather simple!  Close your eyes and listen to your has a thousand sad stories that you left on the side the has a thousand hopes you keep an eye out for ....and then there are the battles you won, the things that you never quite imagined would come true, but somehow did....
Listen....the words are there, once they start....they won't stop!!!
Good luck with your journal!
Peace...Marc :) grains of sand

bojgill4375 said...

At one time of my life I had to be on welfare. I did not like it either! My husband was military and in Okinawa. He was not sending me money. I couldn't get a job to help me because of the mess he got me into. I went to the welfare office asking them to write his commanding officer, they couldn't because he was over seas. I left crying and almost yelling.. "I did not come here asking for money!" They told Red Cross I had an emergency grant. Thank God for miracles. But they got me a job with training and I got off of welfare. It is for when you need it, not a way of life. Wishing you brighter days. Janie