Sunday, November 4, 2007

early to church

I woke up this morning and left for church and hour early. I was there too early because I totally forgot to set my clock back. lol It worked out ok because I did my shopping before church instead of after church.

Things are very stressful here. I walked in on my husband crying. He said he is afraid that he will fail his family. We dont have much. We dont have cell phones are fancey satelite radios on our car. We have a high mileage car that we were lucky to get. We live in a falling apart trailor with no heat and soft spots n the floor. We want better for our children but this is what we have. But my husband works hard. He works at least forty hours a week sometimes more. His paycheck is little but he works hard making it. It would be very hard for me to get a job right now due to the distance away from town we are and the fact that I dont have a sitter for my son. I am just frustrated because I feel like everything I try to do for my family ends up failing. I had to move up here with my sister because I didnt have a place to live down there. My sister took me and my kids in her apartment when we found out that my husband at the time was abusing my daughter. When she moved up here, I had to come with her because there was no where else to go. She was nice enough to put my name on the property so that if something happened to her i would still have a place to stay. Before I moved in with her, She lived with me for a long time. Her ex husband took off and left her and she could not keep up with the rent at her place. I am sorry. Now I am rambling about things. I am so stressed out and scared. I dont know why my sister didnt pay mortgage on this property but she must have had a plan. I am not angry with her anymore. Anger isnt going to help my family. My worst fear of all is losing the kids. They are all I have. If I dont have a place to stay, they will take them.  I dont know what I would do if that would happen. My friend says that I can stay with her but i think that downstate is too busy for me. Everything is so expensive. I feel like such a loser. If I would have been better prepared this would not have happened. Sometimes I feel like my life just isnt worth living. I will keep everyone posted on what is going on. Thank you for all the kind comments.


lucille4364 said...

Oh Christine, you hold your head up high.  No one is judging you for what you have.  We have a high mileage car and can not afford better.  I am not going to give advice.  There are people worse off, believe it or not.  I admire both you and your husband for not giving up. Lucille

manda2177 said...

Christine...istead of thinking about all that you don't have...try thinking about what you DO have.  
You have a husband... lots of women want a husband mor than anything.
You have children.  Some women never have the chance and some are simply unable too.
You have faith.  With faith and with Jesus YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

If the Lord brought you too it...He WILL bring you through it.

Be strong.  Have courage.  

God Bless-

bojgill4375 said...

Like Lucille said... Keep your head up. You are unique... only 1 in this world like you. I don't know what to say but glad that you are going to church and are a Christian. I do believe that God will see you through. It might not be in a short time or even what you had planned but I do think that He is in control. Give it all to Him and just take One Day at a time. None of us knows our future. We can not do many things... but God can do anything. I stand firm in believing that He will supply your needs!  Will you stand with me and believe with me that He can and He will? In my prayers, Janie

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Amanda said it best below...

Keep the faith ~ never give up