Thursday, December 11, 2008
another day another trouble
I wish that I could write positive things but i dont have anything positive to say today. I am going to lose my home. She has finally filed papers. I have nowhere to go and I am going to lose my children. They are my life. The thought of them being in foster care scares me. They would be so frightened. We are all so close. This has been a nightmare!! I dont know how to handle it anymore. I feel so alone. I am so scared!! I dont think that this is going to end well despite all my efforts. I feel like giving up. I have been such a fighter but i think my fight is gone. I cant express how frightening this is. I know that not many people read my journal anymore. I wouldnt want to read it either. Most of the time it is full of negativity. I wasnt like that always. This just started when my sister passed on a year ago. It has been nothing but trouble ever since then. I wish she was here. She was my rock. I dont know how long i can hang on. If I lose my house and it cause me to lose my children, I dont think I can keep living. How do I acheive a positive attutude amist all this chaos? Thank you all for listening and hanging in there with me and my depressing posts.