Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Just another day



I don't know why I feel the way I do today. I am so down and depressed.I am thinking of just letting go of this property and moving downstate near my family. My mother isn't exactly supportive and we aren't very close but at least it would be someone. I am all alone here. I have worked so hard to keep this property afloat the last few months. My sister had not paid mortgage for 8 months prior to her death. She spent the money I gave her on other things. We shared the same property with two trailers on it. It has been hard to keep my house from being taken. Plus she was two years behind on taxes. I had to pay that off. It would be a shame to abandon it now. I just don't know what to do. If I leave here, I will have to live in a shelter downstate because my mother wont let me stay with her. She said it is because my father would go crazy with the kids around. I know they would probably put me in low income housing. I would go and leave all my things behind and start over with nothing. I have no way of getting my stuff down there. It would be just me, the kids and whatever I could fit in the car. That is very scary. If I left here, what would be my fait? With my bad credit the way it is , I would never be able to own anything again. I dont know what to do. I really am very stressed about this.

My son and I have not been getting along. He is 15 almost 16 years old. He disagrees with everything I say. My 19 year old daughter and I had never gone through anything like this. My son and I have done nothing but argue. If i said the sky was blue< he would say it was purple. It doesn't matter what we talk about. We have always gotten along so t his has been something different. Does anyone have any advice for me?

My mother and oldest daughter are coming up on Friday to see me. They are staying in a hotel because they refuse to stay with me because the invaders are living next to me. I am going to stay there with them for the weekend. It will be nice to see my mother and daughter. But on the other hand, it will be very stressful because we don't really get along well, my mother anyway. She has alot of money and I don't. I am barely making it. To me it doesn't matter but to her it does. She looks down on me. She'll want to do things while we are here that I don't have the money to do. And trust me she will rub it in. I really need my mom right now. I have alot of hard decisions to make that I wish she would talk to me and help me decide what to do.

I hope everyone had a wonderful memorial day weekend. Stay safe everyone.



pamal3 said...

Oh Carol. There will be a point when things will start to pick up for you. Try not to take It to heart the things that your son says as It is just his age. Let It go In one ear and out the other. If you really want to break down the barriers with your mum then tell her how you feel or show her this entry. Remember one life, one shot at this. Don't live with regrets. Love Pam xx

shrbrisc said...

oh honey I am so sorry you are going thru so much why don't your mom help you out she doesn't have to give it to you she can loan it to you.. I am sorry you don't have a great relationship with her I totally understand things were rough on me and my mom too

lv2trnscrb said...

my daughter was the exact opposite of me, if I said "blue sky", like your son, she would say "gray sky" it didn't matter; just unique personalities sometimes that we have to find a way to work with and not let us get too frustrated about; but I know its hard, especially when they are in those teen years

have you talked to a financial counselor or credit service to see what they might recommend you do? it might be worth getting their advice about letting the property go, etc. Just a thought

I hope you have a good visit with your mom and that she treats you with kindness and respect


dbdacoba said...

Hello.  I just found your journal and feel that we are alike in many ways.  I"m a man, retired, living alone in a town with no friends, no close relatives, struggling to get by.  My mother and I nerver got along.  In fact, I haven't been liked by any member of my family, most of whom are gone now, anyway.

Your son is going through a phase which he will eventually come out of.  I know that's not much comfort to you now, but, as another comment said, let it go.

About your debts, it is possible to get help from some place, like a credit card company.  If you call them and let them set up even a meager payment plan they will know you are trying to get out of the debt and that helps.

I sympathize with your situation.  My life has been a struggle from the start: poverty, homelessness, discord in the family, loss of property.  I've started over with nothing several times.  It's heartbreaking but if it's necessary, it's doable.  Here's hoping for you it won't be necessary.

Visit my journal, Vagbond Journeys, if you want.  I'll check back with yours.

bojgill4375 said...

I am sorry Christine that you are so down. Teenagers tend to get that way... they know everything! Will keep you in my prayers and pray for you and your mom to have a better relationship. God Bless, Janie

fisherkristina said...

Sometimes when you get moved into low income housing, the state, or borough or some facet of the govt. will pay to store your stuff in storage until you can get it secured into your new place.  If you are being put in a shelter, or in low income housing, ask the shelter people, or somebody else in charge (I am not sure who else that would be except shelter staff) if there is somewhere you could store there stuff - and if they would provide storage for you.  I know they do that where I live.  Anyway, I hope you get to keep your home.


csandhollow said...

To be honest I think I would hate to give up my own place to go live in uncertainty near somebody that I did not get along with.