I got up this morning and felt good because i knew I had a purpose for the day. I had an appointment to speak to a lady about obtaining my GED. I took a pretest and she said I did wonderfully. This is my first step to my new life. Forst I pass that GED and then I go on from there. Nothing is going to stop me. I am on a mission to make my life more meaningful. I want my children to see a mother who doesnt give up and who wants to better herself. I want them to grow up and say "my mother did it then so can I". I want my children to be proud of me and of what I have accomplished. I want to raise my own self confidence. I want a life with friends and a career. I know I cant get it over night. But I took the first step today. It was hard for me to do. I had panic attacks about it all morning. But i made myself go and I am so proud of myself for it. I am going in again monday for some brushup studying and then soon after I will be taking my GED and passing!! Nothing is going to stop me from achieving my goal.
More good news to tell. My case worker called and said that she made a mistake. I have my insurance back!! I can get the mental health help I need to handle my stress and social anxiety.
On bad note, I am so afraid that something bad is going to happen. Usually when something good happens, something bad happens. This has happened to me so many time. I pray that this isnt the case this time.
As far as my housing problem goes, nothing has changed. Ruth (the mortgage holder) has been calling me asking my questions like: "If you pay me how are you going to pay your other bill? Maybe you should leave. " Correct me if I am wrong. Is that really any of her business?? If her end is getting paid, how I pay my other bills really shouldnt be her concern. She is a gem I tell you.
Well I am going to spend some time with my children today. I am going to tell them about my good day with my GED stuff. I am going to sit and read to them. I am going to enjoy thier company and the blessings I have with them.No matter what happens I have them and that is what is important in my life.
Please keep me on the right track for my children's sake. Keep me strong and vigilent. Help me to keep my eye on the future. Help me to make the right decisions. Please be there for Ruth. She is a bitter woman who needs you. Please help her to keep well. Please be with the troops in Iraq. Keep them safe.