Thursday, September 11, 2008

Quest for happiness

I now have a quest for happiness for me and my family. I am so tired of living in the edge like this. I know things cant be solved right away and that it takes some time. There are steps that I have to take. Taking my GED is the first step. I really want to be able to provide for my family better. I dont know what I want to do yet which is a shame being that I am 38 years old. But I know I have to do something and it has to be something that I like doing. I am thinking maybe nursing. I love taking care of people. It runs in my family. But taking this GED has to be my first big step. I was in a bad marriage for 10 years. He wouldnt let me go out and better myself. It isnt like he told me not to but he made it impossible for me to do it. He kept my confidence down by treating me so bad. I know that part of it is my fault because I should have left sooner. Why I didnt is a mystery to me. I cant go back in time so I have to get my life on track now. It is hard sometime. I ALWAYS have obstacles in my way. Especially since i think I am just about at rock bottom. It is either sink or swim for me. I choose to swim. No matter what happens, I will accomplish this. I have to for my sake and children's sake.  I dont always have such a good attitude like this. I take it one day at a time or at least I try to. I had such a bad panic attack last night because i just let my thoughts race. I try to tell myself that at the moment everything is ok. I will deal with things as they come. I have to do it that way or I will go insane. I keep thinking,"Things will be better someday." God is on my side. How can I lose??

I slept in late today. I felt bad about it but it was so cold this morning. I hate the cold. Tomorrow I have to get up and take that preGED test. I hope that I do well. After i pass that test I can go on with my next step. I am so excited about that. In the meantime I may opt to do some community service at the nursing home. It will help boost my confidence and help others at the same time.

I am going to close this entry before i write a book. My thoughts are racing right now. Hope everyone is doing good. Thank you all for your kind comments and advice. I value everyone's opionion even if it isnt what I exactly want to hear. lol.. Sometimes i need to hear the truth.




salemslot9 said...

years ago, I tried a few days
as a nurse's aide
it's hard work
I never wanted to be a nurse
so, it wasn't the job for me
they do all the dirty work
not to scare you off
if that's what you want to do
it's the first step
you should look into it

lsfp1960 said...

I think you're making great strides in your quest for happiness for you & your family. You seem to be very motivated and that's what will help you reach your goal.  Perhaps someone could get you in contact with a career counselor, and they could do some testing to see which direction you should go as far as work is concerned.  Keep moving up're on the right track.  Linda in Washington state  

luvrte66 said...

I really like this confident Christine! You know you want to make a change, and you're taking steps to do so. I'm proud of you, and GOOD LUCK tomorrow!!!

Hugs, Beth

fieldpixie272 said...

I think you should write a book about your experiences.  I think it would helpful for many people in your same situation.  Think about that!  You could be an author one day.
Good luck on your PRE GED test!

shrbrisc said...

honey just take it one step at a time you can do this

bojgill4375 said...

Christine when I went out there in my garage I was so overwhelmed! Remember what it looked like. lol I would get so discouraged! Finally I made up my mind to take it one day at a time. Just try to hang in there and think about just the GED right now. Try not to think of the other stuff that you need to do until it is time to do it. Things do get overwhelming. Honey 38 years old is young. You do not realize that now. lol You are never too old to learn more. Yes, keep believing that God is on your side, because He is, He really is. You may not feel Him at times but He is there. I think it is good for the community service but you know if you will be getting too much on your plate right now. Do what you feel you should do.. listen to your heart. You are in my prayers, you and your family. Hugs, Janie

pprrrr39 said...

I hope that your GED went well
husg jayne