Well I know I haven't written anything in the past couple of days. My mental state was not that good. I had done alot of crying and worrying over various things. I have gotten myself in a stable mental state that I am struggling to keep.
I have talked to the owners of the small 34,000 dollar house and they agreed to take some time and think about owner financing. I pray that this works out for me. I am trying, however, to be hopeful but not too excited so that I dont have a let down if it doesnt go well. My husband answerd the fake letter I sent in a positive way. He said that "he loves his wife and will not talk about or engage in anything that would jeapordise his marriage to her." I was so happy. I need to learn to trust him.
I also need to learn to trust others more. I need to remember that no matter what happens, I still have my family. I need to get myself together and start thinking about them more. I need to be stronger. (at least try to be) Thanks to someone who e-mailed me from reading my journal, I have realized that I should be thankful for waht I have. I know that my attitude is not oging to change over night. But I am going to try my best to have a more optimistic attitude towards things.
I am , however, going to try to get this house for my family. The place we live in now has no heat and is falling apart. i need to live closer to town. I want my family to have a better life and a better place to live. I need to calm down some (at least try). I need to put more trust into God. Trust is not an easy thing for me.
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I am very happy that you are feeling better. It took me a long time to change but with God's help it is so much easier. It took me a while to get to where I was... so it took a while to change me. lol I hope that you get the house, but if you don't then the Lord has something better in store for you. I hope that you have a very nice weekend. I am so happy about your husband. Praying for you, Janie
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