Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Just another day

Boy, when it rains it pours. My hot water tank broke and I had to go out and buy I new one. That hurt me real bad financially. I still dont have hot water. I had to boil water up for the kids bath last night. That took forever. Hopefully it will be up and running tonight. One can only hope.

Because I have to empty my bank account to get a hot water tank, My electric is in danger of being shut off. It is a nightmare. I have to figure out how I am going to pay that and still pay my mortgage.

That is another problem as usual. The morgtage holder is giving me so much problems that it is insane. She keeps on harrassing me and threatening to get me thrown out of here. She makes an arrangement for payments and then changes it in the middle of the month. I really wish that i could get out of here into a new home. I know that is not possible. I feel like a trapped animal right now. I would love to keep my home but it has been too much of a struggle. Because i have pets, it is really hard to find a rental property that will let me take them with me. I may have to find homes for all of them. I would really miss them. : ( It would really break my heart.

My mother is coming up this weekend for a visit. For most people this would be a good thing. Not for me. She tends to be bit a bit mean and judgemental. She has tons of money and doesnt accept the fact that I dont. I live in poverty. I am an embarrassment to her. She can be very harsh with some of the things she says. I dont know if she means the things she says or not. I cant tell but it is hurtful either way.

On a brighter note, I went to my son's football game last night. They won!! He did so good. I was such a proud mother. I heard the people in the stands talking about him. I had tears in my eyes. I dont know why I was so emotional.Well I hope everyone is doing good. I am going to lay down a bit and watch a movie and try to calm down some. Last night I had panic attack after panic attack. I actually thought at one point I was having a heart attack. It was quite a scarey thing to go through.


Slapinions said...

Panic attacks are awful aren't they? You know my biggest fear? It isn't that I'm having a heart attack when I have one, but that WHEN I'm having a real heart attack I'll mistake it for a panic attack. Crazy, huh?


Janie said...

Yes it does seem that way doesn't it. So sorry about your mother. It does hurt when those we love talk mean to us. :( Sorry she is that way. We can not change those that hurt us or talk mean to us. We just have to make sure we are doing the right things in our life. I understand what you are talking about. So glad that your son did well. Sometimes I think we get emotional when things are not going well in our life. We cry at the tip of a hat. A way of releasing our emotions. Will keep you in my prayers. Hugs, Janie

Anonymous said...

i have panic attacks sometimes too, the only thing that helps is trying to distract myself with something to do. Also I try to decompress the panic by thinking of one thing that I am doing to prevent the big horrible thing I may be thinking of, from happening. Then I can tell myself, see, you are doing THIS so that THIS wont happen. Soemtimes it works. :-)

Beth said...

Christine, please contact the electric company--you can talk to them and make arrangements and they will help you find assistance so that your electric won't be cut off.

Hang in there,

Celeste said...

hang in there. If your mother causes too much trouble tell her to leave. It is your home!!!