Tuesday, October 21, 2008

sleeping all the time

Thank you all for all you comments on my past post. I have not been doing well. I have been sleeping and crying the last two days.
We have hot water now. Thank goodness for that. Our heater isnt working well though so it has been cold. If it isnt one thing it is another. I have not even wanted to come out of bed. I really dont know what to do. I feel that if I stay in this house I will fail and lose everything. I feel trapped here with nowhere to go. I couldnt go take my GED test n saturday because I didnt have enough money. I am scheduled to take it november 22. It is anyone's guess if I will have teh money then. I am now behind on so many bills because of having to get my car fixed. It is horrible. I dont think things are going to end well for me. I have slipped into such a bad depression. I just dont knoe how to get myself out of it. My head is spinning in a hundred directions and my body hurts so bad. I have been so sick to my stomach.
I miss my sister so much right now. It has been almost a whole year since she has passed away. I am still in so much pain. On the 25 of the month it will beone year since she has past away. I am so lonely without her. I dont really have anyone. I just dont know how long I can go on like this. The last couple of days have been horrible. I am so worried about everything. I dont even know how I am going to feed my family next month.
I went to the Pa Career link yesterday morning. It was the only time I had gotten out of bed in awhile. I went there to apply for a job. The guy who helped me said that I might as well forget about college because I would never be able to afford it.He said that I should just forget about that. My heart just sank. That was the only hop ethat I had to get my children a better life. well I will go for now. I hope everyone is doing well. God Bless


Indigo said...

The guy who told you to forget about college is an idiot...If you go to school full time, you will be able to get funds to help not only pay for your schooling, but to help with living expenses, As long as your in school. Giving up on anything, school, life, yourself is never an option hon. Your kids love and need you. You are a fundamental part of this life believe it or not. Your in my prayers on the smoke dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

Nancy said...

That guy who said forget about college should be fired. Of course you can go!! If you are in the low income bracket there is alot of college help for you! All you need to do is go to the community college in your area, speak to a counselor and apply for grants. I am thinking you should get the GED first. Can you reschedule your appt to take the test? Christine the thing that is going wrong here is your depression. All this stuff seems monumental because you are depressed. You must stop thinking about it. You do what you can and then spend the rest of the day thinking of the good, not the bad. It is ok to reschedule things you cant afford when bills come up. Everyone does this. I do this. I juggle bills too. Cant pay this, but I can pay this. Buy food FIRST, then systematically go down the list of bills paying what is the biggest concern first. Get on the phone and talk to your bill companies, some can work with you. The ones that cant have to be moved up on the list, but I guarantee you more places than not will work with you.
You simply need to get your depression under control, and all other things can be worked out I promise you.
you have mentioned in the past that your mom has money, can you take out a loan from her? And pay it back a little at a time? I would seriously consider this.

Karen said...

Times are difficult for all of ue, some like you have it even worse. Please do not let the negative ideas of others stop you from achieving you goals. You feel down today but tomorrow is a new beginning.
Love, Karen

Beth said...

Christine, I don't know who the dork was that told you that you wouldn't be able to afford college, but I can tell you to not pay any attention to him and to listen what we are telling you. You absolutely will qualify for student aid, and you need to move forward towards that goal!!

Also, you are reaching out to us here online, so I know you don't want to give up. Reach out to someone in your area--find a counseling hotline and call them, and let them help you.

Do not give up, my dear!!!


Sweetnessk71 said...

I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. It really sucks when bad things happen to good people yet the real aholes out there get all the good. I will keep you in my prayers that you can see through this rough time in your life.. take care