I dont know what is wrong with me today. I am worse than yesterday. I couldnt sleep last night so I am exhausted to begin with. I am ashamed of how i feel right now. I fel hopeless like all is going to go bad. I feel like giving up. I feel very numb sometimes and other times i feel so hurt. I am not myself today. I feel very hateful at times. I dont think I have ever felt like this. I dont like it. I have been short with the kids. I didnt cook supper tonight. I just threw in a frozen pizza. I am so ashamed of my attitude but i cant seem to stop it. I feel so overwhelmed that I cant deal with it all.
My husband and I are not doing so well. He went out and spent money that we needed for bills. He spent it on senseless things that we didnt need. I was so angry. Here I am worried that we cant make it. I am making sacrificies by finding homes for the dogs and tryng to keep the burden down and he does this. I give up. I really really give up. I hope these feelings pass and that I can sleep tonight. I want to be stronger. I was so proud of my good attitude and now I am like this. I am ashamed to write this but i needed to get it out.