Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Probleme with my teenage son


I am having such a hard time with my 15 year old son. The topic is "A girl". I want to pull my hair out. He wants to be on the phone with her 24 hours a day. His attitude has changed drastically since he has been talking to her on the Internet. He doesn't even get to see her. She lives too far away but yet he still wants to be on the phone with her or Internet with her all hours of the night. We only have one phone line but he still doesn't get the point that maybe we need to get phone calls too. It is so frustrating!! I used to be able to talk to him about anything. Now i cant even talk to him at all! Every time I try to talk to him, he thinks I am trying to attack him. He told me yesterday that he was going to stop playing football. Football was so good for him. Before he played he was getting into trouble alot. It really changed his life for the better. I don't want to him to stop. He says that it is because it is getting too hard. I think it has to do with this girl. I don't want to see him waste his life over a girl. I made that mistake when I was younger. This is really heart breaking to see this happen to him. If anyone has any advice it is greatly needed. I am at a loss. : (

other than that, I have been doing pretty good emotionally. I have my moments when i break down but all and all I am keeping myself busy enough that I don't think about things all that often. Things have been ok so far. I just pray that I figure things out before I lose everything. I am not going to give up as of yet. I am still hanging in there. I had a job interview the other day. It is for a cashier job. I really hope that I get it. The lady seemed to like me. She looked like someone that I could enjoy working for. She owns the store and she is very is very easy going. She doesn't even make her employees wear uniforms. My husband is working two part time jobs. That gets a bit hectic but it is money after all.

I have been doing alot of reading lately. Most of it has been about religious things. I have found out that I love learning about different religions. Especially Christian history. It is really interesting.

I have been thinking about my sister alot as well. C.O.R.E. sent me a paper wanting a picture of her to honor her because she donated her organs to them. It really makes me feel good that someone out there is using her eyes to see again. She has given someone a second chance to be see. That makes me so proud to have had her as my special friend. She was really wonderful. She would give the shirt off her back for someone if they needed it. I am blessed to have had her in my life. I love her and miss her so much. I was very happy to send them a picture of her. She deserves to be honored.

I hope all my J-land friends are doing well. I have not had a chance to really comment much on journals. I have been running and running. School is going to start soon and i should have alittle more time because the house wont get messed up so fast. I cant beleive summer is almost over already. I feel like it just started. I am not ready for winter. YUCK!! : (

Well everyone I will bid you fairwell. Till next time....


shrbrisc said...

I wish I could help you with the son , unfortnately we just have to go with those mommy instincts and hope for the best .

bojgill4375 said...

Christine you are not alone with this problem. My grandson is on the phone all the time. My daughter has to turn the phone off at night. One girl called at 3 in the morning!!  My grandson is only 13. My daughter puts the phone on hold some way. I can not get in touch with her because kids are always calling. Reading religious things does help Christine. I use to read Rex Humbard books. They were good. I am not ready for winter either!! I don't like to be cold! lol Staying busy helps you, doesn't it?  I have been staying busy and it really feels good to get some things accomplished. Hope your week goes well... all of you are in my prayers. Hugs, Janie

fieldpixie272 said...

well, lets see, first I would make some computer and telephone rules, this way he knows what is expected of him.  an hour and a half on the computer per day.  One hour on the phone and thats it.  Perhaps he would split this time, into 1/2 an hour during the day and half in the evening, whatever, but he would have to be off the phone the rest of the time.  Tell him this is for everyone, not just him.  Has school started out there?  If not give him some chores he can do to earn phone time above and beyond the hour....such as cleaning all the windows on the outside of the house or possibly mowing the lawn, doing laundry, dishes, or even playing a board game with a sibling...yep that can be a chore because if the kids are younger than him he needs incentive to want to hang out with them.

My kids want to always be on the computer or video games and this is what I do with them.  I give them the rules, and to get extra time they need to go above and beyond normal chores that they do all the time.  

As for football, sit and talk with him about why he doesnt want to do it anymore.  This happened with my daughter.  She didnt want to do swimming anymore a few years ago and she said the coach was not very nice and this was logical.  I told her she needed to do something else then because sports are good for you and she said she'd like to try volleyball, so she played that for three years.  Now she has gone back to swimming.  Sometimes they just need a break and want to try new things.  Tell him, fine you dont have to do that, but you must come up with a different sport...track and swimming are two that you can get into at this age without feeling like you are too old to catch up to the people who have been in it forever.  Both of these things are competitive sports where you only compete against your best time but you are part of a group anyway.

barbpinion said...

Raising teenagers is difficult, but it truly helps to have family rules. Having them makes for less arguing, lowers the stress (of both parents and teens), and makes for a more peaceful, happy home. Sometimes it helps to make phone  use an (earned) thing, rather than something taken for granted. What helpes too, when talking is difficult, especially if you were once able to talk to your child, is to write him, or her, a letter. Children, even when angry will usually read a letter when they are not in a mood to listen. Just food for thought. It is what helped me with my kids when they hit the "difficult" mode. HOw proud you must be of your sister, to know that because of her generosity and a willingness to bless somebody else, another person can see. You take care of yourself. Oh, and by the way, just in case you are not getting alerts, I have posted. Am settling into new place so still sore and quite tired, but doing alright. Stay well, keep focused, trust in the Lord and be patient. And remember that every trial comes to its own end, honey. Not every day brings rain.
Love ya,

salemslot9 said...

I probably wanted
to be on the phone
more than my folks liked
at some point as a teen
but, I was respectful
and hung up when they told me
some kids like to
take advantage of the situation
try to be firm
tell him you won't tolerate
him ignoring your rules
you and your husband
have to stick together
it'll get easier when he starts school...

domsmom27 said...

Hi Christine,  I really feel for you.  You must be so worried.  AND I DO know how kids are today.  But look at what they live with.  The TV....every single program talks abut sex.  I wonder if it is the ONLY subject in this world.  Sex is thrown at them from every corner.  The Computer....You can look at something innocent on YOUTube and then the little squares are pornographic.  Look how the girls dress.  Everything now is cleavage.  Boys today do not have to wonder whats under the clothes, its all out there.  No modesty, no values, and the language of this world is bad, bad, bad.  And thats just the girls.  I believe that it is the MORAL DUMBING DOWN OF OUR SOCIETY.  It is sad but this is what we have thrown  at these kids.  So it is not his fault, Its the world we live in.
Sorry to be on a soapbox!!!!             Marlene