Wednesday, June 25, 2008

inner battle with myself


Nothing great was ever done without much enduring ....Catherine of Siena


Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.


I had a pretty nice day today. I slept in late. I had some running to do in town so I took our one dog and the kids with me. We went to the park and walked around near the water and then I let the kids play on the play ground toys. For the most part, It was a peaceful day. I am slowly learning how to deal with my anxiety. I have moments when I still get shakey.I have decided that I am at the point where I can either gain control of my thought and my emotions and be content. Or I can let my stress, anxiety and depression consume me and live in fear and be alone. I feel like I have come to a T in  the road. It's either left or right, win or lose. I want to win!! I want to feel alive instead of just surviveing. I am tired of feeling all this pain all the time. I know that I will have my ups and downs. I know that I have a long road ahead of me. I have been doing alot of reading lately. I have been very diligent about reading the Bible every night even if it is just a chapter or two. It has really helped me out alot. I have also been reading other books to get my mind off of everyday things and give my mind a break.

Anyway, an update on Chewy. I was able to scrape some money together and take him to the vet. He gave him his shots and gave me some medicine for his skin. He is looking alot better and does very well with our family. He needs to gain some weight. He is a bit food possesive because of being half starved for so long. It will take him some time to learn that he will get to eat everyday like he is supposed to. I am glad that the nightmare is over for him.

My husband and I sat and watched movies last night. We watched the Spider wick chronicles. It was pretty good. We also watch 10,000 BC. It was ok. The graphics were really neat. They did a good job with that. Chewy laid on my lap and cuddled with me while we were watching movies. Petting him actually was very relaxing and calmed me down some. I actually heard that having a pet can lower your blood pressure. I am going to go for my evening walk with the dogs. I heop all is well.

God Bless the troops



shrbrisc said...

keeping you and yours in my prayers

dbdacoba said...

Good for you Christine, you sond a lot healthier.  You have a right to expect and get good times, and no one and nothing has a right to deprive you of that.  Keep focused on the good you want for yourslelf, your family and your pets.  That's the girl!!                         D

luvrte66 said...

Animals are definitely good therapy! The hospital where I worked in Indianapolis, and most hospitals that I know of, allow pets to come in for various wards. There have been studies that show that petting an animal actually reduces blood pressure.

Sounds like Chewy has found himself a nice place where he is well-loved. :)


mariebm56 said...

You sound so much better  Ü
Keep up the good work~

bojgill4375 said...

You are doing really good Christine. Will be praying for you to be able to close the door on those negative thoughts that come into your mind. It is hard but the more you can do it.. the better you will get at it. We have to want to close the door but it takes time.. one day at a time. I am sure that you can do it. Praying for your struggles. Watching these pets is soothing. The assistant living nursing home that we go to has a black lab. She walks around and sees everyone. Just goes where she wants. lol One lady told me that they have all spoiled her. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. Prayers for troops too. Hugs, Janie

rdautumnsage said...

I think you definitely reached a crossroads. Life is a choice of how you want to live. It's not so much in the details, rather in how you respond to what is going on in your life. (Hugs)Indigo

libragem007 said...

life has its ups and down....weight both and hold on to those better moments.
Take care of yourself,

libragem007 said...

umm, what is that  pictured above? a bug? a germs?neat..and intersting :-)

pprrrr39 said...

You sound so much more positive. I wish i had your strength........... I need to gain control of my fears..... easier said than done.

Good Luck
hugs Jayne